Yep, we are still in between. How can I tell? Well, most of our stuff is in boxes. That and comments about not wanting to unpack that here that pop up from time to time… everyday.
Life in the in-betweens feels like you are waiting for something to happen, something to become permanent. It can be a very stressful situation. Usually it happens when you are waiting for a job, or a new baby. You know everything is going to change, so you don’t want to get too stabilized just to be forced to pull up roots again.
Joy and I were talking the other day and we realized that we have not yet, in our three and a half years of marriage, had a time when we were not living in the in-betweens. First it was waiting to join MAF. Then we were raising ministry support. Then we were in training in Idaho. Then we were at language school. Now we are awaiting our final move to our base assignment in Nabire.
Our inbetweenness just got kicked up a notch in the last few weeks as we have started looking forward to our arrival in Nabire. Even something as small as a change in what house we will live in created huge emotional stress for us, and I realized that we had latched onto first house as the home. That was going to be the place for starting a non-inbetween for us. It was going to be our first “home.” That little change, just mentally moving from one house to the next overturned our balance of waiting.
It was a small change, but a huge one too. We had put our hope into that building. It was just a building, we hadn’t even carried a single box in. Even so, it had become our home in our minds. Now that we are assigned to live in a different building, all those hopes and dreams were crushed. And with that, our in-betweenness became ever clearer.
I’d like to say I have a perfect answer, of how to live in the waiting, in the in-between, but I don’t. All I can say is, here we are, in the in-between, feeling like a boat at sea with no sail or anchor. It’s no fun, but this is where God called us. He remains our only hope.
Besides, earth really is an in-between for us all anyway.